Kids: Channeling Mania Towards Productivity
by Kate Hufstetler
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD, or
Bipolar. There are biological reasons for this, and there are
environmental elements which can soothe or aggravate the
symptoms. It becomes increasingly easy to "react" to each mood
swing rather than to develop a plan for different positions on
the pendulum swing. Yet, preplanning is the best chance at
teaching our children coping skills that will serve them
throughout life. A child will learn better during a manic or
hyper state-if the parent is able to stay strong and kick into a
preplanned directed goal.
Some of the most creative, successful people in the world's
history are bipolar. (one small list of such people can be found
at: bipolarsurvivor.com) There have been
rulers of countries with it, artists, authors, astronauts,
musicians, ball players, financiers. The goal of parenting is to
help assist our children to learn the coping skill that they
will need to be successful at their level in the world around
them as adults. Your child may choose to be the next Nobel Prize
winner, Secretary General of the United Nations, or they
actually may just have similar goals on an equally grand scale.
Keep in mind that adults, who are clinically required medicine
to help curb the mania, often go off their meds because they
enjoy the added energy and creativity. They like feeling
euphoria, accomplishment, and a higher sense of capability and
esteem. Yet un-channeled, that high energy can run rampant, and
create a wake of problems left behind them which will increase
the slower, depression side of the mood cycle.
When our children are young, we can take the time to help them
identify these moods and teach them subtly-- some ways to
harness that energy, and utilize it in appropriate ways that
still align with their desires. The following suggestions are
modifications from the book The Ups and Downs of Raising a
Bipolar Child by Judith Lederman and Candida Fink, M.D. These
suggestions work well in the state where creativity & thinking
out of the box is identifiable. This is not intended to treat
other phases of mania such as rage, or extreme irritability &
negativity.
1) Listen and Learn. Pick up on cues and subtle comments that
can help you understand you child's interest at the time. Ask
questions about her desires and thoughts regarding hopes,
dreams, goals, wishes. Use this time to bond and grow closer to
the inner part of you child that is revealing itself.
2) Encourage participation in those desires in a physical way
now (right now) if possible. Writing poetry or a mini-novel-even
a script for a tv show, drawing, picking up and instrument and
trying it, shooting photographs, making a video, painting and
decorating his bedroom, sending a letter to the President of the
United States, etc.
3) Ground the child in reality of the situation & current needs.
When she has to do something RIGHT now, calmly and detached
state in few words what needs to take place. Also validate her
desires by adding "it would be nice to do that someday". You may
even want to converse further about that impulsive desire-again:
listen and learn, while helping her attend to the
responsibilities of the situation at hand.
4) Meet some of the desire while lowering the intensity for her.
If he just has to go to a professional ball game (now!), try
going through his card collection to see which players and
positions he is most interested in. OR get on the computer and
begin a card collection for him-let him help pick out the cards
and teams. Have someone in the family take 20-60 minutes out to
play that sport with him now. After energy has been released,
maybe go to blockbuster and get a video where that sport is the
theme.
The process to help a child deal with STRONG impulses is time
consuming. Two points of reality are:
a) There really isn't any way around the time consumption.
Whether we deal with the desires head on or waste time arguing
and trying to shift our children to something else "more
reasonable", the time expended will be relatively equal.
b) We are giving them life long skills that may save them years
of frustration: by taking the time to encourage our children to
think creatively, stay with a theme of desire while channeling
it reasonably. And this is one of our heart's desires .
Until next time-all the best, Kate
Source:
Kate Hufstetler is a well established Personal Life Coach. Her
clients come from both the United States and overseas. She
offers coaching services via email and phone consultations. For
more information and current highlights please visit:
http://www.comedreamwithme.com
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