The Depressive Narcissist
by Sam Vaknin
Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of
depressive illness. This is the position of the authoritative
magazine "Psychology Today". The life of the typical narcissist
is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria
(ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss of the
ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression
(cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further
obfuscated by the frequent presence of mood disorders, such as
Bipolar I (co-morbidity).
While the distinction between reactive (exogenous) and
endogenous depression is obsolete, it is still useful in the
context of narcissism. Narcissists react with depression not
only to life crises but to fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply.
The narcissist's personality is disorganised and precariously
balanced. He regulates his sense of self-worth by consuming
Narcissistic Supply from others. Any threat to the uninterrupted
flow of said supply compromises his psychological integrity and
his ability to function. It is perceived by the narcissist as
life threatening.
I. Loss Induced Dysphoria
This is the narcissist's depressive reaction to the loss of one
or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply - or to the
disintegration of a Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space,
his stalking or hunting grounds, the social unit whose members
lavish him with attention).
II. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria
Deep and acute depression which follows the aforementioned
losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these
losses, the narcissist now grieves their inevitable outcome -
the absence or deficiency of Narcissistic Supply. Paradoxically,
this dysphoria energises the narcissist and moves him to find
new Sources of Supply to replenish his dilapidated stock (thus
initiating a Narcissistic Cycle).
III. Self-Worth Dysregulation Dysphoria
The narcissist reacts with depression to criticism or
disagreement, especially from a trusted and long-term Source of
Narcissistic Supply. He fears the imminent loss of the source
and the damage to his own, fragile, mental balance. The
narcissist also resents his vulnerability and his extreme
dependence on feedback from others. This type of depressive
reaction is, therefore, a mutation of self-directed aggression.
IV. Grandiosity Gap Dysphoria
The narcissist's firmly, though counterfactually, perceives
himself as omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, brilliant,
accomplished, irresistible, immune, and invincible. Any data to
the contrary is usually filtered, altered, or discarded
altogether. Still, sometimes reality intrudes and creates a
Grandiosity Gap. The narcissist is forced to face his mortality,
limitations, ignorance, and relative inferiority. He sulks and
sinks into an incapacitating but short-lived dysphoria.
V. Self-Punishing Dysphoria
Deep inside, the narcissist hates himself and doubts his own
worth. He deplores his desperate addiction to Narcissistic
Supply. He judges his actions and intentions harshly and
sadistically. He may be unaware of these dynamics - but they are
at the heart of the narcissistic disorder and the reason the
narcissist had to resort to narcissism as a defence mechanism in
the first place.
This inexhaustible well of ill will, self-chastisement,
self-doubt, and self-directed aggression yields numerous
self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours - from reckless
driving and substance abuse to suicidal ideation and constant
depression.
It is the narcissist's ability to confabulate that saves him
from himself. His grandiose fantasies remove him from reality
and prevent recurrent narcissistic injuries. Many narcissists
end up delusional, schizoid, or paranoid. To avoid agonising and
gnawing depression, they give up on life itself.
Source:
Sam Vaknin (http://samvak.tripod.com) is the author of
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain -
How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Central
Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb , and Bellaonline, and
as a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business
Correspondent. He is the the editor of mental health and Central
East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.
|